


Do Overs and Second Chances

by unfinishedpages



Series: we're collecting moments (tattoos on my mind) [5]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Hinted Sebaek, Hinted SuYeol, I Made Myself Cry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 04:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14730218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfinishedpages/pseuds/unfinishedpages
Summary: Ah, Kyungsoo shouldn't have done that.





	Do Overs and Second Chances

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Person A is drunk off their tits and accidentally calls person B by his ex's name, which puts a strain on their relationship, to the point that B just ends the relationship. A is now unable to come to terms with the aftermath and asks his ex for help despite the answer being just in front of him. 
> 
> A break up, make up au to get rid of the writer's block.
> 
> pls blame my beta she gave me the prompt for a twt fic, but it escalated to this and this is severely unbetaed. I'm sorry.

Jongin and Kyungsoo were happy, as best they were balancing work, academics and their personal lives.

 

They made things work. They talked and resolved things like two mature adults faced with arguments. They loved each other too much to let petty grievances and words thrown out from rage and pent up frustrations drive a wedge between them.

 

Jongin had his anxieties and insecurities about their relationship, but Kyungsoo proved to him that there was nothing to worry about.

 

And he did.

 

They celebrated their highs and lamented their lows together, and Jongin found himself buried against Kyungsoo's neck, laughing about something he can't quite remember with the alcohol dulling his senses. Kyungsoo had his arm around his waist, holding back chuckles as they celebrated another one of his successes together, on the couch of their shared apartment drinking cheap-frankly, terrible-soju.

 

Jongin had summoned enough motor skills to gather his limbs and sit on the elder's lap with the intent wrap him in an embrace, fingertips playing with the stubble of Kyungsoo's undercut as they stared at each other.

 

The TV playing the cheap reality show was mere white noise behind them, the soju bottle left unattended on the coffee table. The younger smiled, pressing their foreheads together. "Congrats again, Soo." He murmured, savouring the grateful kiss Kyungsoo pressed against his cheek. "You deserve the win. I'm proud of you."

 

Kyungsoo looked up at him with the most loving smile Jongin ever had the opportunity of seeing, his calloused hands running random patterns on his shirt clad back. "Thank you." He tipped his head up, a hand coming up to tangle with Jongin's locks to make their lips meet.

 

Once.

 

Twice.

 

"I love you, Kyungsoo."

 

And again.

 

"I love you too, Chanyeol."

 

Oh.

 

It was as if someone had doused Jongin with cold water when he had heard that name spill from Kyungsoo's lips, suddenly recoiling as he pushed a hand against the elder's chest, biting his bottom lip hard to keep the tears and betrayal at bay.

 

The sinking mortification overshadowed the dullness of Kyungsoo's senses from the alcohol on his system, hands gripping Jongin's waist to keep him from moving away. "Jongin-I didn't mean that, baby. I'm sorry."

 

Jongin had already removed himself from Kyungsoo's thighs, averting his eyes away from the older man. He had never felt such betrayal, hurt and disappointment crash on him this hard, his feet immediately heading anywhere but the living room.

 

Anywhere Kyungsoo wasn't in. He couldn't bare it.

 

Kyungsoo couldn't move upon seeing the broken expression from Jongin's face, the younger leaning back on the kitchen counter staring at the window. "Jongin, I really am sorry. I didn't mean that."

 

The younger let out a shuddering breath, before nodding, moving his face away from the elder's view in a desperate attempt to not let him see the tears he couldn't control anymore, wiping them away aggressively as he made a move to clear the table.

 

The elder tried to reach out to him, but the younger flinched away when he saw Kyungsoo grew closer. "It's okay. I'm just going back to bed." Jongin whispered, not trusting his normal voice to speak aloud.

 

He smiled at Kyungsoo again from the kitchen counter after setting the shot glasses on the sink and the empty bottles away. "Congrats again, hyung." He said, before he slipped away into their shared bedroom, closing the door with a soft click behind him.

 

Kyungsoo was suddenly left alone, under the deafening silence and the gravity of his actions pressing on his conscience. He fucked up so bad, he thought as Jongin attempted to muffle a sob in the other room.

 

Kyungsoo had fucked up.

 

He had stayed up for another hour, hesitating to enter or even knock on it, thinking Jongin had locked him out.

 

But Jongin didn't, he was asleep, curled up into himself facing the wall. As if he wanted to distance himself away from Kyungsoo's side of the bed, when normally, he was spread like a starfish when he fell asleep earlier than Kyungsoo did, the elder left with squeezing in against him.

 

Kyungsoo slipped under the covers, staring at Jongin's back, unable to pull the younger close as the crippling shame took over him.

 

It was as if he lost everything, every privilege that came with being with Jongin-the close skinship, the openness and understanding he provided, the undying affection-seemed to have fizzled out in minutes.

 

The next morning, Jongin was gone for his morning classes, his side of the bed made up and a lone cup of tea stood on the table. The one he made every time he woke earlier than Kyungsoo, due to his aversion to coffee.

 

Kyungsoo found a small sliver of hope in the little bit of routine Jongin had still held up, desperate for any sign of normalcy between them.

 

But when he had bumped into Jongin on campus grounds that afternoon, Jongin had merely offered him an impression of a smile and a fleeing glance, when he would normally either give him a one-armed hug or a kiss on the temple, depending if he was running late, but today nothing.

 

That evening, Jongin was late for dinner, Kyungsoo didn't feel the normal irritation he used to feel when Jongin came home late without reason.

 

"Hey." He called out from the kitchen. "Did you eat yet?" Jongin had quietly said that no, but he'd eat after he got thru his readings.

 

All Kyungsoo got from Jongin was curt replies and clipped sentences, the invisible wall between them growing thicker every day.

 

Every night Jongin and Kyungsoo slept in the same bed, one just an arm's reach away from the other, but it felt like they were miles apart with how far Jongin had distanced himself away, and Kyungsoo hated it.

 

Sure, he deserved it, but he sure as hell couldn't stand it.

 

The painfully awkward routine had stretched on for weeks-Jongin has stayed quiet and distant away from Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, well, he tried.

 

He tried to repair things, to make it up to Jongin how many times over it took for him to forgive his mistake.

 

Jongin wasn't rude, he agreed with plans, did the same things they did, had sex, but it had felt so methodical. Like it was just something he had to do with Kyungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo felt like he'd lost Jongin.

 

They laid awake at night, backs turned toward each other, the need to pull the other close becoming overwhelmingly suffocating.

 

One rainy Sunday morning, Jongin was sat on the couch, blanket over his legs as he craddled a mug of lukewarm tea in his hands, so deep in thought that it took three calls of his name to snap him out of his stupor.

He had taken one look at Kyungsoo, and smiled at him, for the first time in weeks. "I know you're still in love with Chanyeol." Jongin murmured, punctuating his sentence by setting down his mug on the table with the dull clink of ceramic against the glass of the table.

 

Kyungsoo merely stared at him. Jongin seemed so resigned-like he had given up on Kyungsoo, and it hurt more than a sharp slap across the cheek.

 

"What are you talking about?" He asked, leaning against the door frame of their bedroom. Jongin pulled his legs up and hugged his knees to his chest. "I think you should get back together with him." He continued. "You'd be happier now, given that he's back from Japan." Jongin stated, staring at Kyungsoo with red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks.

 

"Is that what you want?" Kyungsoo asked, his voice cracking.

 

Jongin let out a dry chuckle at the question. "Why does it matter?" He moves his gaze to the multitude of picture frames on their shitty TV stand.

 

"Don't say that." Kyungsoo whispered, his feet moving on their own to stand before Jongin to look him in the eye. "It matters because I love you, Jongin." He stated, unable to control himself from kneeling on the scratchy rug, taking Jongin's hands in his to press them to his lips.

 

"I don't want to lose any more of you." He whispered, leaning into Jongin's hands as they wiped the tears away. "I don't want to lose you, Jongin."

 

"You've always had me, but I don't think I ever had you, Kyungsoo." Jongin explained, caressing the elder's cheek the same he always did-filled with love, and eyes holding the utmost sincerity. "I always felt like I had to compete with whoever was in here." He patted Kyungsoo's left chest. "And it turned out I never had a fighting chance with them. You still love Chanyeol, Soo."

 

"I loved him, but not anymore. I love you." Kyungsoo whispered, holding their clasped hands and leaning on it as if he was praying-praying for Jongin to not do this, not to end things.

 

"You should go back to him, Kyungsoo."

 

"What about you?"

 

Jongin gave him another smile, putting his legs down to cup his cheeks and plant one last kiss on Kyungsoo's lips. "Don't worry about me. I'm letting you go, Kyungsoo. I wish you well."

 

"Don't do this, Jongin." Kyungsoo begged, holding onto to Jongin's wrists, shaking his head in disbelief. "I have to, Soo. I can't keep up with this losing game anymore."

 

\--

 

Jongin left that evening. He took his things, and everything that was bright from their shared home, leaving Kyungsoo on the bed, desperately clinging on to Jongin's scent on the sheets.

 

Kyungsoo was miserable, to say the least. He got thru his classes with his head up in the clouds, and ghosted thru work shifts, looking for something that resembled for anything that seemed to be like his life before Jongin had taken everything and closed the lights on him, leaving him to fumble around blindly in the dark.

 

Jongin, he had heard from Baekhyun, had been crashing at a friend's couch until the end of the semester, before planning to move back to student residences during summer break. Due to their majors being in utterly different buildings, they never crossed paths. Jongin was always hauled up in one of the many labs or study rooms in the College of Health Sciences, and Kyungsoo was stuck in the Liberal arts wing most of the time.

 

Baekhyun had offered that it would be better if they hadn't bumped into each other at all, with the wound being so fresh and all. He had thought about actually talking to Chanyeol, not to get back together with him, but just vent out and hopefully find a solution to this.

 

The romance had long fizzled between him and Chanyeol despite being high school sweethearts. Upon the second year of university came the older boy's decision to take up a year in Japan.

 

Their three-year relationship that come to a gentle stop when they broke it off, reasoning that a long distance relationship was too hard to maintain.

 

A semester later, Kyungsoo found himself asking out the soft-spoken biology major in his literature classes, and Jongin had said yes, and they were happy ever since. Until last month when it came to a screeching halt, because of Kyungsoo.

 

Chanyeol, ever the darling, had accepted his plans to meet up and talk over dinner at his place. Kyungsoo didn't want to seem like a freeloader, so he brought a box of pastries that Jongin absolutely adored from the bakery they used to frequent and headed straight to the elder's new apartment.

 

Chanyeol had welcomed him in, and nearly had the shock of his life when a half-naked man walked into the living room, hair wet and a towel in hand. He nearly dropped the pastries at the sudden development. He didn't peg Chanyeol to have a booty call at this hour?  
  


"Is...is this a bad time?" Kyungsoo croaked out, trying to look anywhere else but the man's chest and the expanse of smooth skin, suddenly finding a patch of carpet oh so interesting.

 

"That's because you're early!" Chanyeol chuckled from the kitchen, kissing the shirtless man's cheek, who had a flush on his skin. "This is Junmyeon, Kyungsoo. He's my business partner."  
  


Junmyeon smiled at him, who had thankfully put on a shirt for everyone's sake. "Nice to meet you."  
Kyungsoo offered him another smile back. "Are you two partners in other stuff too?"

 

Chanyeol's deep chuckles reverated in the room along with the soft clinking of cutlery being set against the table. "In every aspect expect working out." He turned to Kyungsoo, who was still awkwardly standing in the living room, while Junmyeon awkwardly sipped on a glass of wine. "Sit down, Soo! It's just me!"

 

He moved to pour a glass of wine for Kyungsoo, who declined and asked for something much harder. "Oh." Chanyeol murmured. Kyungsoo never really drank unless his emotions were at its highest or had plummeted to rock bottom, and he guessed it was the latter.

 

He poured a glass of whisky for the younger and offered it, before plopping down beside his boyfriend.  
"I'm sorry. I didn't think your boyfriend would be here, now he just probably thinks I'm your sad, weird friend from high school." Junmyeon chuckled from his position.

 

"Nah, it's cool. And if you want I could give you some privacy?"

 

"No need, I'm the one intruding. I just wanted to talk to someone." Kyungsoo muttered, sipping on the liquor and hissing low at the burning sensation on his tongue down to his throat.

 

"Chanyeol, I messed up." He said after few moments, looking at the other man beside him. "Full disclosure, we used to date but now we're completely platonic, okay?" Junmyeon nodded slowly, confusion obvious on his face.

 

"Jongin and I broke up. I fucked up so hard, Chanyeol. I don't know what to do." Kyungsoo stated, his tears resurfacing. Chanyeol's face grew pinched with worry and exchanged a look with his boyfriend, who took the initiative leave the room, patting Kyungsoo awkwardly on the shoulder.

 

Kyungsoo sat there, on Chanyeol and Junmyeon's too soft couch, staring at the amber liquid in his glass. With the click of a door locking, chanyeol asked Kyungsoo. "What happened?"

 

"I don't know. It just happened, I was drunk, and I don't know what came over me." Kyungsoo explained, setting the half-finished glass on the coffee table as if the thing burned him, hands flailing around in an attempt to make sense of what really happened. "Did you cheat on Jongin, Kyungsoo?" Chanyeol asked, tone suddenly cold and serious.

 

The younger had shot him a desperate look. "You know I would never do that. I may have messed up but I'm your best friend, Chanyeol. Don't you trust me?" The taller smiled at him. "Well, I had to make sure if it was actually worth helping you." He said jokingly, but Kyungsoo seemed to grow more miserable by the minute.

 

"What did you do, Soo?"

 

For a split second, Kyungsoo had an expression of pure fear and hesitation, as if he was gauging it was actually worth prying the half assed seal he had used to compartmentalize his feelings for Chanyeol to see.

 

"We were celebrating because an article I had written had won a competition." Kyungsoo let out a sound that was a mix of a sob and a chuckle stuck in his throat. "We had dinner, and we went home to drink, and were so happy." Chanyeol had wordlessly offered the box of tissues beside him in front of Kyungsoo, listening to the younger tell him everything. Kyungsoo stared at the Kleenex box and the now lukewarm glass of whiskey and downed the latter.

 

"He told me he loved me, and fuck, I told him I loved him too."

 

Chanyeol's brows rose all the way up to the messy curls falling on his forehead. "How was that messing up? Did you suddenly propose too?" He asked jokingly but stopping when Kyungsoo just stared at him wordlessly.

 

"I said your name."

 

"In what, during sex?"

 

"No. I said, 'I love you, Chanyeol.' when i replied, instead of his name."

 

"Oh."

 

A long stretch of silence had fallen between them, with Kyungsoo unable to meet the elder's eyes. "Do you?"

 

"What?"

 

"Do you love me?"

 

"What-you're with Junmyeon now. I love Jongin."

 

"No. Take them both out of the equation. Do you still love me? Would you get back together with me?" Kyungsoo was unable to stammer out an answer for the first time that evening, but he knew to himself that he wouldn't take that chance.

 

Chanyeol breathed out slow. "Let me change that question. Did you date Jongin just so you could cope with our breakup?"

 

"My world didn't revolve around you back then. I loved you, Chanyeol, but you chose to leave, and I chose to move on. Jongin just came along and goddamn I fell like an idiot for him." Kyungsoo laughed out bitterly. "I don't even know why I said your name."

 

"You know what, i'm not even going to dig into that. I'm going to ask you two things. Then we can eat."

 

"What is it?"

 

"Do you really love Jongin?"

 

"What kind of question is that?"

 

"A proper one, now answer it. There's chicken in the oven and if you stall this conversation even more I'm serving you all the burnt parts."

 

"Yes, I do. I love Jongin, I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I miss waking up in the morning not being able to get up because he won't let me go." Kyungsoo paused, trying to steady his voice. "I miss him so much that this past month has been hell."

 

Chanyeol got up from the couch to check on his chicken with a secretive smile. "Where are you going?" Kyungsoo asked, following the older boy into the small kitchen with an exasperation in his movements he hasn't experienced at all.

 

"Obviously you're just wasting both of our times, Soo."

 

"What are you talking about? I'm sorry but please stop fucking with me." Kyungsoo asked, trying to make sense of what the actual hell was happening. Chanyeol crossed his arms. "Fine, last question."

 

"If you really love Jongin, why are you here, telling me," Chanyeol asked, pointing to himself. "That you do?" He laughed out when the cogs in Kyungsoo's head seemed to click back to place and move normally again.

 

Junmyeon had emerged from the bedroom and into the kitchen, but had nearly collided with Kyungsoo, who had a near crazy spark of determination in him.

 

"Oh shit, I'm sorry. You have a great boyfriend, so unlike his ex. Me." Kyungsoo rushed out as he gathered his belongings, and disappeared out the door, his sneakers skidding on hallway tiles.

 

Chanyeol had seemed to notice the expectant look on Junmyeon's face and explained. "Kyungsoo tends to be a little dense at times. He paid me in pastries to knock the gears up in his head again."

 

As Kyungsoo ran out of Chanyeol's apartment building, he immediately called Baekhyun, asking where Jongin was staying. Baekhyun, who was rudely interrupted and uncharacteristically snarky, breathed out the address, yelping out the name of who Jongin was staying with before muffling a cuss thru bit lips. "Is that-good god-all, because I'm preoccupied at-at the moment, oh!"

 

"Are you-?"

 

"Oh, oh. Yes!"

 

Kyungsoo chose not to ask Baekhyun to specify what that yes was for, immediately running to the other side of the street.

 

Sehun, Jongin's childhood friend, was under the sports sciences, was someone Kyungsoo never got incredibly close too, but shared quite a bit of banter with in the times they were in the same place, but he wasn't sure if he'd actually let him see Jongin under these circumstances.

 

He dashed up the stairs to 0313, panting as he knocked on the door rather impatiently, nearly falling on his face as he reached out to knock again, only for the door to swing open revealing a topless man staring him down.

 

He gave him a look, before asking him. "You Kyungsoo?"

 

"Yes." Kyungsoo replied, what was happening and everyone was half naked today?

 

Sehun sighed and opened the door, walking away. "Other room. You've interrupted things way too many times for me today." He muttered, before opening his bedroom, giving Kyungsoo a glimpse of someone very familiar. "Baekhyun?"

 

Baekhyun grinned at him from under the covers, waving his fingers flirtatiously as Sehun smirked at Kyungsoo, before locking the door behind him.

 

As if by sequence, Jongin had come out of the door. "Hun, who was at the door-oh."

 

Jongin looked like he had just rolled out of bed with his hair sticking up into little tuffs, an oversized knit sweater swallowing him up as he stared at Kyungsoo in the living room of Sehun's apartment, unable to formulate a sentence.

 

"I need to talk to you, Jongin. Could we please?" Kyungsoo asked, taking a hesitant step towards the younger, who had merely looked Kyungsoo in the eye and shook his head. "If you're here to apologize, I told you, it's fine. You have nothing to apologize for anymore."

 

Sehun must have some thick walls in his unit, because the only thing Kyungsoo could hear was his heartbeat hammering thru his eardrums as he psyched himself to talk. "I love you, Jongin." He breathed out.

 

Jongin crossed his arms. "Or so I've heard. Why are you here, hyung? Here to tell me the bad news that Chanyeol didn't want to try again with you?"

 

"I want to ask you for another chance, not him." Kyungsoo breathed out, fighting the urge to kneel down in front of Jongin and beg.

 

"I... I know I messed up, and I want to make it up to you, I'll be better this time. Jongin, please." He begged, hesitantly reaching out to hold Jongin's hand, who had reluctantly let it be pulled away from his chest.

 

Jongin stared down at him, brows furrowed eyes unreadable no matter how hard Kyungsoo searched them. He didn't say a word, as if he was mulling things over.

 

Kyungsoo sighed, unable to will the sting behind his lids and the dryness of his throat as a new wave of tears surfaced. The elder chose to let go of Jongin's hand to wipe at his cheeks hastily, nodding. "I know you need time and space, so I'll give that to you."

 

Jongin heaved a deep breath, his exhale getting caught in his throat as he looked away from Kyungsoo with tears pooling in his eyes. "If you don't wanna try again, that's okay. I won't force you into anything," Kyungsoo spoke hesitantly, but it was true.

 

What if in the time they were apart, Jongin had moved on to better things? He was scared of opening that possibility to the younger, but Kyungsoo had already laid his cards on the table, and the decision was now in Jongin's hands.

 

Kyungsoo stepped back, wringing his hands nervously. "If you want to try again, I'll be at home." He nodded when Jongin finally looked at him again, a crack in his facade obvious as a spark of hesitance shone thru.

 

Kyungsoo offered Jongin's keys back to him-a small stuffed ice bear keychain-the keys jingling as Jongin stuffed them into his hoodie. "When you're ready, just come home to me, Jongin."

 

The elder allowed himself to dare and reach out to caress Jongin's cheek, before leaving Sehun's apartment with the door clicking behind him softly.

 

Jongin stared at the door until Sehun's door opened and both him and his boyfriend came barreling out with curious expressions to their faces.

 

Sehun, at least had the decency to look sheepish. "I'm sorry for eavesdropping, I wanted to make sure he wasn't doing to do something stupid to you." Baekhyun on the other hand was strangely quiet.

 

"Kyungsoo's your friend, so I assume you have an input here too?" Jongin asked though it came out a little too acidic than he intended it to be.

 

Baekhyun crossed his arms, face serious despite being swallowed up by Sehun's clothes. "You're miserable, and so is Kyungsoo." He met Jongin's hard stare with his own. "I know you still love him as much as he does, so I hope you'll make the best decision."

 

Jongin pondered on their words in the coming days, purposely delaying his application for student housing as long as possible, before he decided to throw it to the wind.

 

Kyungsoo had come home that night with an expectant hear and a hopeful tone in his thoughts, which slowly dwindled as the days passed and not once did Kyungsoo's door open to reveal Jongin.

 

He sighed.

 

Maybe he had really screwed this up beyond repair, Kyungsoo couldn't resist chucking a pillow as hard as he could manage across the room before he left for work, desperately trying to keep up a routine to keep his head out of diving down to rock bottom again.

 

When he had come home for the night, it took everything for Kyungsoo not to break down in the hallway when he opened the door.

 

Jongin was seated on the living room couch, wrapped in blankets and tucked into himself as he dozed off to some garbage reality show.

 

When he noticed Kyungsoo standing shell-shocked in the hallway, he smiled softly and stood up, opening his arms for the elder.

 

Kyungsoo had come rushing into Jongin's arms, sobbing into his shoulder and gripping his waist so hard like he was afraid that this Jongin was just a figment of his despaired mind.

 

"You're here." Kyungsoo sobbed, whike Jongin merely hugged him tighter in return, pressing a kiss to his temple.

 

"Yes, I'm home now, Soo." He whispered as he pulled away to stare at the elder's red-rimmed eyes, running his thumbs gently to wipe the tear streaks off his face.

 

"And I'm never leaving again." He said, pressing their foreheads together before they met lips halfway, their kiss tasting of saltwater and suppressed emotion finally being let loose.

 

Kyungsoo gripped Jongin's thighs as he hoisted the younger into his arms before they fell ungracefully into the too soft duvet of their bed, Jongin bouncing on his lap as his longer fringe tickled Kyungsoo's forehead.

 

Their low chuckles mingled together as they stared at each other, eyes mapping out the old route they used to take, fingertips tracing familiar paths on each other's skin as their clothes met the floor, lips followed a more desperate cadence to make up for lost time.

 

As Kyungsoo trailed his fingers down his spine, Jongin shuddered and moaned low through their locked lips.

 

Ah, It felt good to come back home.

**Author's Note:**

> I finally got a small window of free time to work on something between shifts AAAAAA pls come talk to me @the_conjongin, or my cc at the same u/n
> 
> or yell at me i dont mind


End file.
